Why?

I thought everything is over already, but that's simply not the case. I thought it would just get to the back of my head, but I feel bad, or even worse, by the day. School life is much more boring now, time passes so slowly, I don't do as much crap in class, I don't laugh at jokes so easily, my face not as bright and cheerful. No more conversations or even a word, except for a "sorry" when you knocked into my chair, "Haven't go remedial?" ... So what am I really thinking? I think this is not soft-heartedness, this is just indecisiveness and stupidity and hypocritiness. Imagine it was just days ago when I was cursing at the top my lungs, at everything and out of anything... Oh man.. I can move on! I hope...